So far we had completed our first visit with our social worker in St. Louis. Now we were ready to move on to the next step. THE HOME INTERVIEW!!!
In a home study you write a biography about your self answering very personal questions. Then, a social worker comes into your home on two separate visits. During the first visit she asks you in more detail about the questions in your biography both individually and together as a couple. Then on the second visit she will revisit any issues she needs cleared up, look at our home, and talk with our children. Many of you all know my children and know I am praying about this also. :)
On the day of the first home visit, I was sweating bullets. I have cleaned and re-cleaned my home about 3 times. Debating on what to wear. Looked on Pintrest to see what to wear. I made sweet tea, tasted it, dumped it out and then Googled how to make sweet tea correctly. Made coffee......, drank it......., made an other pot. Googled home study tips. Ran to town to get my finger prints done/ keep me busy and not drinking coffee. While I was out I saw my beautiful friend Emma at a local store. She gave me the best hug and told me she would pray for me today to have peace. This was exactly what I needed to hear. God placed this wonderful friend in my path. As soon as she said she would pray for me I was stopped in my tracks. I had not prayed today. I had done quick one liners with God throughout the day, but I had not stopped and truly pour my emotions out to God. I walked around the store praying and thanking God for friends that lead me toward my heavenly father. Thank you Emma. You never stop inspiring me.
I came back home still praying. Saw the coffee....., drank it......, made an other pot. Then, she pulled up. She greeted me with a hug and shared about her drive. I offered her coffee and warned her away from the tea. Then we got started. I was full on stress sweating! My glasses fogged at one time. I had been calling this my very expensive blind date and it was happening. I knew she was going to ask me about my past. I knew I would have to talk about it. She eased in to it. Starting with hobbies and my job. Then, BOMB! Tell me about your childhood and teen years. I had planned to gloss over everything answering only what needed to be said. This is not how it happened. I straight up word vomited on her. I spilled it all. It felt good to just get it all out, but instantly came to fear of sharing to much. She was very kind and understanding. I still felt the shame of letting out all my biggest regrets and hardships on this woman I had only meet once. I started to withdraw, I could see myself shutting down. The sweet, amazing Emma popped in my head. I quickly prayed and God calmed my heart. I am not my sins. I am new in Christ. God gave me the strength to stay in the moment and share how this past build my testimony.
Then, as quickly as it started my time was over. My mountain was conquered. Brandon pulled in and we did a brief interview together, with more to come next time. I left to get our girls and it was Brandon's turn in the hot seat. When I got back with the kids we compared battle stories and agreed that it was not as bad as we thought it would be. It was invasive, personal, and exposing. I did cry once or twice but it was done. We are one step closer to finally bring Isaiah home.
In our lives before the home study my team went on a field trip to a local summer camp. My amazing team of teachers took one hundred 8th grade students in to a place where there was no cell phone service!! They were scared. They were confused. Then, they loved it. They talked to their class mates. They ran and played on slides. They fished! It was one of those memories I will treasure so many years.
Proud momma moment!! Maddie and one of the other teachers son was able to come with us that day. They both caught a fish, and then were helping out other students to learn to fish.
Yours in Christ,
The Woolard Family
